Returning to Work after Baby: Strategies to Lighten the Load
Transitioning back to work after becoming a mom is A LOT. And I don’t think it’s discussed enough.
You have finally JUST settled into the routine of having a new human in your life. And now they expect you to turn your life upside down yet again?! Ummm what?!?
Returning to work Tore. Me. Up.
Realizing that there’s baby poop on your pants mid-meeting or forgetting to pack Tylenol for your teething 12 month old gets emotionally ex-haust-ing.
ANYTHING you can do to lighten the load is a huge win.
Here is what I’ve learned + my top 10 tips to simplify your ride:
1. Clear Your Schedule
Getting the hang of a new routine takes a minute. Spend a few weeks focusing on the mundane - like learning the easiest way to blow-dry your hair with an infant on your lap. Don’t do ANY extras right now.
It’ll be boring.
Do it anyway.
2. Let go of the Guilt
One more time for the cheap seats: LET GO OF THE GUILT.
3. Set Up for Success
Being a step ahead is absolutely necessary. A few of my favourites….
Meal Plan: It can be a regular rotation of hot dogs and grilled cheese and can be written on the back of a pizza box, but get a plan in place.
Weekly Prep: Choose a chunk of time each week for food prep – tip: pb sandwiches can be frozen. BOOM.
Nightly Prep: Spend 20 minutes (before you turn on The Bachelor) to prep for the morning –breakfast, clothes, toothbrushes, backpacks…do it ALL. Prepare for each morning as if they are going to wet their beds, have a fever and drop your cell phone in the toilet.
4. Ask for Help
Generally women suck at this. Stop sucking at this!
When I went back to work I asked my mom if she would make us dinner once a week. I hated asking. It’s now my favourite day of the week.
Paying for help counts too!
5. Be Picky about your Daycare
Telling someone you don’t want them to care for your child is an awkward conversation. Do it anyway. Because once you have someone you love, they become your second family.
6. Everything you are Feeling is Normal
if you feel tired: normal
if you feel guilty: normal
if you feel happy to get out of the house: normal
if you feel guilty for feeling happy to get out of the house: normal
if you’ve researched how you could quit your job and live off the land: normal
7. Focus on the Positives
There are a tonnnnnn of perks to work:
You get to talk to adults!
You get a lunch hour!!
Co-workers provide the best parenting hacks
Nobody expects you to wipe their….
8. Simplify, Simplify, Simplify
Get your groceries delivered, cancel the gym membership you aren’t using, stop sorting the lights and darks, tell your friends you have to skip lunch. Do whatever it takes. SIMPLIFY IT ALL.
Added Bonus: This is a natural time to find out what reeeally matters to the health and happiness of your family. Hint: it’s less than you think.
9. Declutter
You no longer have 10 minutes to spare each morning to find a matching pair of socks for your 4 year old. Create a space that is clear and calm – a sense of peacefulness will naturally follow.
10. Give Yourself Grace
This is NOT the season of life to host your grandmother’s 90th birthday brunch. One day you will be coaching soccer and coordinating book club. For now allow yourself the time and space to figure out how to get to work on time! And when you screw it all up and have a terrible week, FORGIVE YOURSELF.
Most of all - remember that it gets easier – I PROMISE. Yes, I am still stressed, daydream of 30 minutes alone and look forward to kids who can cut their own food. BUT every month gets easier.
In the meantime…..coffee and wine.
Mary Ann K. xo
p.s. my one request: years from now when you’re rocking at work and once again have enough energy for spin class, be kind to the new moms at work. They are probably struggling more than they let on.
Disclaimer: These are just my personal opinions. If you are struggling with mental health issues please contact your doctor.
