Simplifying Christmas
less stress, more joy.
After years of frantic Christmases - with too much stuff and not enough peace - I am flipping the bill this year.
I am determined to slow it down, soak it in and lower the stress level.
My holiday mantra this year is RESPECT.
Specifically, respect for our:
time
money
mental health
home
If you are looking for more joy and fewer tears this December, I hope this inspires you to plan a beautiful Christmas season â exactly how YOU want it to look.
Time
Our family is in a very full season of life right now (Iâm guessing some of you can relate). On the good days, I can see how lucky we are and that we have so much of what weâve always prayed for. But there are days (weeks) when the pendulum swings too far to the other side. The side where itâs a constant rush, a battle for downtime and we end up on the brink of burnout.
So when something extra comes up (i.e. Christmas), things can go sideways FAST.
On the bright side, how we spend our time is completely up to us. Obviously there are some non-negotiables (work, feeding our families, etc.). BUT if you start to really study it, how much time are you spending on things that drain your holiday cheer??
When making decisions about optional commitments I loooove the saying âIf itâs not a hell yes then itâs a hell no.â This is an amazing double check system and is often a great indicator of âdo I actually want to do this?!â.
A few other strategies Iâve found helpful for managing time:
Communicate Openly: To your partner, your family and EVERYONE. I spent years being a âyesâ person. If I was invited, I went. End of story. But with a full-time job and two small kids, boundaries were no longer an option. And when I started to open up about my limitations (rather than come up with half-ass excuses) it was LIBERATING. If you are too overwhelmed to join in on this yearâs cookie exchange - SAY THAT. Nobody can fault you for being honest.
Schedule Down Time: If you feel like you never get down time, try scheduling it in like an appointment. This is especially helpful if you have a hard time sitting still (guilty). Our brains and bodies need breaks. And if you donât take time to rest during holidays then when are you going to rest?!
You Do You: Christmas pulls us in 398 different directions. Thatâs a fact. Some of it is crap that isnât worth your time. But some of it is speaks directly to your heart and fills the sh*t out of your cup. Even if its something that seems weird to other people! Simplifying the season doesnât mean sitting inside doing nothing - it means being mindful about how you spend your time. If dedicating 30 hours to perfecting your grandmotherâs gingerbread recipe makes your entire body light up with happiness, cool! If it means watching six Christmas movies in one day, also cool. Whatever you do, make sure youâre doing what fills up your cup - and respect your time!
Money
Another area that can quickly go sideways at Christmas is money. It is soooo easy to get sucked into every offer, sale, flyer and influencer out there. And since we will still need to pay your electricity bill in January; we need to outsmart the temptations.
Most of the time I feel like Iâve pretty much mastered our household budget (paying off major debt is amazing practice!) - buuuut this season can creep up on even the most seasoned budgeters.
A few of my holiday budget tips:
Reciprocal Gifting: Just because someone gives you a gift doesnât mean you need to gift them back. Sound terrible?? But itâs TRUE. Maybe your Aunt Cathy absolutely lives for buying gifts and she has a large disposable income, no kids of her own and major Christmas cheer - thatâs amazing! Let her gift away. But if returning the favour isnât in the budget, donât sweat it. And giving yourself this grace will likely inspire others to do the same - people who may have otherwise felt obligated to keep on gifting. Honesty is alwaaaays the best policy.
DIY Gifts: This doesnât necessarily mean elaborate custom wood carvings for every person you know. Think more along the lines of homemade muffins, maple syrup from your familyâs farm or a fun money tree for your 12 year old nephew. Keep it simple, keep it budget friendly.
Seek out the Free: One of the great things about Christmas are the countless free and low-cost family events - corporate sponsors host family skates, public libraries put on craft days and lighting displays are everywhere you look. One of our favourite parts of Christmas last year was an advent book program through our library - the kids received a new surprise library book on their doorstep every morning in December. It was so much fun and absolutely FREE.
Create a Sinking Fund: Christmas can cost a big chunk of money - gifts, hosting, socializing, stocking stuffers, decorating, baking - all of it. Sit down and figure out exactly how much it will cost (be honest) and then start saving early (like, in January). Your December 25th self will thank you.
Second Hand Gifts: Especiallyyyyy for kids. They have no idea. You save money. And you save the planet from one more Ninja Turtle figurine.
Mental Health
Give me the zen. And lots of it!
The worst fight Scott and I have ever had was on Christmas Eve 2018. We had two tiny kids, a ton of debt, busy jobs and a major sleep deficit. We were still finding our footing in this insanely new world (and not doing a great job of it) so when the Christmas season came around, the pressure hit an all-time high. It was a terrible night that I will never forget and I became determined (obsessed) to never let it happen again.
My tips for a Fight-Free Zen Christmas:
Create a Plan: For everything! Coming up with a plan means no confusion and disappointments. Decide what days/nights you want to get together with friends or family and decide what days you want to stay home. Plan how much you want to spend on gifts, exactly who you plan to buy for. Also, decide when you plan on shopping (maybe make a day of it?) and who is responsible for picking up which gifts. Make expectations VERY clear. Coming up with a plan of action might not scream âChristmas magicâ - but I PROMISE you itâs worth every second.
Avoid the Comparison Trap: DO NOT LET MATCHING CHRISTMAS JAMMIES FOOL YOU - nobodyâs Christmas is perfect!!!! Christmas Eve 2018 - when Scott and I had a terrible fight - we also have adorable family photos in front of the tree. Proof that nobody knows what is happening behind closed doors. Focus on all of the amazing gifts in your life right now. This is YOUR Christmas, nobody elseâs.
Get Outside: If it feels like youâre too busy for a brisk walk through the snow, then you definitely need one. I have come to the conclusion that fresh air solves 95% of lifeâs problems. Give it a shot. Even if you donât feel like it.
Traditions Can Change: I adore the idea of family traditions, especially around the holidays. But now that Iâm the grown up (and in charge of executing all these traditions), they stress. me. out. The expectation of recreating the same event or feeling each year is a tonnnn of pressure. One small example - before the kids were even born Scott and I started cutting down a tree each year and saving a piece of the stump to make an ornament. He would burn the year and our names in the wood and we would add a pretty ribbon and hang them on the tree. It was absolutely lovely. But after Annie-Rose was born, the idea of packing up an infant and a toddler to drive 30 minutes to chop down a $100 tree that we couldnât afford, in the freezing cold, was just too much for me. I knew Scott really loved the tradition and I felt major mom guilt but my mental health needed to find a simpler, less-stressful tradition. So I pulled the plug. What Iâm saying is - if a tradition no longer fits in your life or has become more of a burden than joy, switch it up! We are all evolving and thatâs ok :)
Rest, Rest, Rest: See âSchedule Downtimeâ above.
Home
I couldnât write a Christmas post without mentioning all the physical STUFF. Because all that âstuffâ that goes along with Christmas has a huuuuge impact on our time, money and mental health. And I don't thinks thatâs discussed enough.
Respecting your home and spaces has the power to INSTANTLY reduce stress. A few small steps can make a huge difference.
Easy Check-Ins for Managing Your Space:
Before You Shop..: When youâre choosing gifts ask yourself: Where they will be stored? Do you have room for them? Is there anything we can prepare ahead of time to make room for new items? How often will this item get used? Before you swipe your credit card this year, take a moment to make sure itâs reallyyyy worth bringing into your home (or the home of a loved one).
Clutter-Free Gifts: Think gift cards and consumables. And for most people I aim for gift cards for services, experiences or consumables (also clutter-free). A few examplesâŚ.the new restaurant that opened up in town, their favourite hair stylist, the movie theatre, live theatre, a treatment at the spa theyâve been dying to try, the local ice cream shop, a food delivery service, a free month at the yoga studio, the coffee shopâŚI could go on all dayâŚ.
Clutter-Free Decor: Instead of decor that you have to store 11 months of the year, try fresh arrangements and items from nature. Better for the environment, your wallet, and your basement storage space.
Prepare for Incoming: Spending an afternoon decluttering your home BEFORE Christmas morning hits, makes Santaâs visit seem a lot less daunting. As youâre decluttering, check in on what you no longer need - what items come in to your home that donât stay long? This is a great lesson for next year. As you get better at monitoring what comes in your home, each November the decluttering phase will take less and less effort.
Focus on Less: When it comes to Christmas gifting, people are often working with expectations and experiences from their own childhood. They are either trying to live up to the same level of gifts they received (potentially just out of habit) or sometimes we try to make up for what we didnât have as kids. If you find yourself overwhelming yourself and your family with gifts, take a moment to reflect on why. Switching to fewer items that your family truly adores makes for a beautiful Christmas morning - and for less decluttering in March :)
Donât Keep Gifts You Donât Want: Full stop.
Alright, there you are my friends - my guide to filtering out the chaos and creating a simple and happy Christmas. I sincerely hope this helps you have a beautiful holiday this year.
Merry Christmas and Happy December!
Mary Ann K. xo
